At LinkedIn, we think a lot about Managing Compassionately.
This is really hard and I don’t do it well.
In part, it can be overwhelming to think about the world from the other person’s perspective (which is at the heart of managing compassionately) while simultaneously Demanding Excellence and Being Open, Honest and Constructive (two other important values we aspire to).
Rather than take Compassion head on, I’m trying to find simpler, smaller steps to get started. In other words, I’m building small habits that will guide me to towards being more compassionate.
After writing down my list, I have come to realize that the precursor for being Compassionate (the big ‘C’) is being courteous (the little ‘c’).
Here are my top 5 tips for being courteous at work:
1) Follow-up when someone helps you out. If someone does you a favor, follow-up after you’ve used that favor and let them know how it turned out. Even if their help turned out to not be helpful, send them a note, thank them and tell them what happened.
2) Be on time … and only take what you ask for. Nothing expresses how you really feel about someone quite as effectively as being habitually late. Would you be late to a meeting with your boss? If not, what does that suggest to the person waiting for you when you’re always running late? Conversely, if you ask for 10 minutes, mind the time and wrap-up in 10 minutes. If you ask for a ‘small’ favor, do a gut check to make sure it really is a small favor.
3) Decide if you really want help before you ask for help. Sometimes, when I ask for feedback, I’m really just hoping for confirmation. I remind myself that if I’m not prepared to take action from the feedback, I shouldn’t ask for it. This means that, on balance, I ask for feedback a little less often. But, when I do engage in conversation, I’m more sincere and willing to change, which is really at the heart of building great relationships.
4) Use inclusive language … and avoid exclusive language. One example of exclusive language is “as we all know.” That phrase is mainly a tactic for shutting down conversation. Shutting down conversation is not necessarily bad, especially if you need to drive to an outcome. But, be careful about mindlessly using that approach. The simplest form of inclusive language is asking “What do you think?” This is particularly helpful if you’re asking the person who hasn’t had a chance to share.
5) Please. Thank You. I’m Sorry. Don’t forget the basics that we learned in kindergarten. Saying Thank You and really meaning it can make a world of difference. The same goes for graciously and voluntarily admitting to mistakes. The best way to use “Please” is to think of everyone you work with as a volunteer. How would you ask for help from someone without any obligation to you? That’s how you should always ask for help, and it probably involves “Please.”
In our quest to be ‘awesome’ and to do ‘great’ things, we can sometimes forget the unexpected and out-sized benefit of ‘little’ things. This is mostly a list to help me remember. To make these ideas stick for myself, I’m focusing on one behavior per week. This week, I’m focusing on “Please. Thank You. I’m Sorry.”
Posted on LinkedIn by Dacheng Z. 25.08.14